


lovefool

by zacisinlove



Category: Original Work
Genre: about my bffie, also shitty grammar cause i’m failing english, at least he’s not straight, being gay is so hard, british school system fr fucked me up, but fr don’t read this, but he’s like the prettiest boy ever so i don’t mind being in love with him, hes the exception, he’s so cute and for what, i beg you don’t read this, i hate being in love it’s disgusting, i hate this, i love him sm, i miss him sm, its just me ranting into the void, it’s trash, i’m 15 and i don’t even know what a shitting semi colon does, i’m gay and lonely, i’ve had lovefool on repeat for five shitting hours, just saying tho he’s the cutest boy ever, lapslock, literally don’t read this, literally just a letter to my bffie telling him my feelings, me vs falling in love with every guy ever, me vs yearning after my best friend, the only things i know how to use are commas and full stops, this is so cheesy, two years i’ve had a crush on this fucker, ups my chances by like two percent but not really, who i’ve had a crush on for two years, wow i’m gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:27:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24574555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zacisinlove/pseuds/zacisinlove
Summary: me ranting abt my unrequited crush :( tis also very much a letter to my crush that he’s never gonna read cause i’m a huge fucking pussy
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	lovefool

i’ve had a crush on you since i’ve known you, it’s been two years since we met, when you and your friends got kicked out of your area for breaking shit then you decided to come to my area instead. i didn’t speak to you at first, i was too intimidated i really don’t know why though maybe cause you’re so beautiful.

i could go on about your beauty for hours. your eyes are just so wonderful, they have the most perfect almond shape and the colour is the most gorgeous golden brown. oh i wish i could stare into your eyes for hours. your eyebrows even though they are messy and unkempt are so lovely they’re so thick and have the most perfect arch. your nose is a lovely button shape, maybe one day you’ll let me boop it. your lips are my favourite part of your face, so thick, plump and they always look so soft even when they’re chapped, they’re the most exquisite shade of pink. most days i lay in bed and wonder what it would be like to kiss you and to rub my hands across your face and through your hair. it would be the most wonderful feeling.

i’ve already had my first kiss, when i was in primary school, i was seven when i kissed my boyfriend teddy. we broke up a week later because he wouldn’t let me be anakin when we played star wars at lunch. i don’t count that as my first kiss though, my first kiss will be when i kiss you. even if i kiss 500 people before i kiss you none of them will count, you’re gonna be my first. if i never get to kiss you then i guess i’ll die without having my first kiss, that would be quite tragic so it would be appreciated if you could hurry up and kiss me.

it really hurt when you started dating that girl especially as you know what happened between her and i. how she always would spread rumours about me behind my back and would get my friends to hate me. but it hurt even more when she cheated on you, you were gonna introduce her to your mum that night but instead she ditched you to go kiss a girl. 

she was such a bad influence on you. i remember walking home with her one day and her making fun of you for not wanting to take acid. two weeks later you brought weed into school, obviously weed is nowhere near as bad as acid in my opinion it’s not bad at all however i know that without her influence you would have never thought about touching it, and then got suspended, i know it was all to do with her cause before you and her got close you never would have dreamed of such a thing. i miss those times when you weren’t pressured into doing things you didn’t want to, everything was so lovely then.

i remember when it was just over a year ago when you made fun of me for having curtain hair and insisted i cut it, but i really wanted you to like me so i lied and said my mum wanted me to have that haircut. as soon as i cut my hair you told me instantly that it looked so much better even during that first week after i got it cut when i put way too much gel in my hair. even when you would make fun of me you’d do it in the nicest way possible, you were so nice in fact that sometimes i wouldn’t even realise you said mean things. 

sometimes i’ll spend entire days laying in bed just thinking about you. i’ve drawn you so many times. perhaps that sounds slightly odd and creepy but you’re my source of inspiration, my muse, my love.

my favourite memory of you is definitely when one of our friends threw my lucky toy onto the roof. i was so sad cause i take it everywhere. but you decided to climb onto the roof and get it down. the roof wasn’t at all stable and if it collapsed you would have gotten expelled but you did it anyways. i still can’t believe that you spent your entire lunch break climbing on top of a roof to get down what probably seems like a meaningless item. when you came down from the roof fifth period had already began and we were late for class, you were covered in dirt. but you got covered in dirt and was late to class for me. that day is so special to me.

the next week i took my mums debit card and spent £30 buying you a gift. it was nothing special, just a bunch of chocolate. but i loved seeing how happy you were to get 10 giant bars of chocolate and a milk tray and then you shared it with all our friends. it was such a wonderful day. i’ll treasure the memory forever.

even when i’ve had crushes on other boys none of them compared to you. i’d like them for maybe two weeks but you’d always be in the back of my mind. when i’ve dated other boys i’ll break up with them within a week, it doesn’t feel right to be with anyone but you. i’ll say i have commitment issues and that’s why it never lasts but i only have commitment issues when i’m with someone that isn’t you. none of them come even close to you . your beauty is unmatched, i've yet to meet someone that makes me laugh the way you do. i doubt i ever will. with every guy i date i always compare them to you, i haven’t dated you yet . i’ve not even come close. yet i know none of them will feel the same as when i’m with you. i could never love them the way i love you. 

whenever i feel butterflies in my stomach when i’m around you it feels like a tsunami yet with everyone else it feels like i’m an experienced surfer riding a mediocre wave.

i’m certain that i’ll always love you. at the very least i’ll never forget you. the most beautiful man to ever walk the earth. even if i marry another man i’ll always love you the most. the love i feel towards someone else isn’t comparable to the love i feel towards you. it’ll probably stay that way.

you are my soulmate, my one true love, the only one that can make me feel like there’s a tsunami happening in my stomach every time i look at you. my love you’ll never know any of these things. we’ll probably never date or kiss

and i think i’m fine with that.

**Author's Note:**

> if you read this why would you punish yourself like this????


End file.
